it's all a big cliché, isn't it?

i feel like i wanna see the get up kids and yell and squirm with the others to Holiday because it's loud but not loud enough and you try to take it in anyway as much as possible because tired means you are exhausted and that can be so beautiful sometimes. well, although the word beautiful is overused sometimes, that doesn't mean i don't mean it.

oh dear.

i still remember a commercial i once saw for this made-for-tv movie. it was about some girl with anorexia, probably "based on a true story." it had this REALLY skinny actress, which made sad sense because there was this scene where she descended a staircase in this dress and shocked everyone with her abject thinness. you need a scary-thin actress for that sort of effect (ya can't use computer-generated shiz for everything).

and it made me wonder if just maybe the actress herself was anorexic. because, i mean, she was THIN. like, "i'll break in half if i breathe too deeply" thin.

so every time i remember this commercial, i imagine the actress not eating. and i picture her being happy to get the part, and making the movie, and being complimented for her slenderness

(because "slender" is so much nicer than "bony").

BAM. laura power!

when i watch documentaries about some poor village in some poor country, i wonder what the camerapeople are up to.

i mean, they're videotaping a town as it struggles, and they're right there. tonight pbs showed something about a guy who had one bullet to kill a wild buffalo with so his family could be fed.

i dunno maybe they do give aid. that would be nice, wouldn't it?

and i guess if i think about it, i'm no better, watching it on tv.

woot woot!

i'm not part of your world, but that's okay as long as no one gets superiority complexes.

and just the thought of certain people can make me smile.

fuck, i can smile if i think about you ;)

tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down

- komm, süsser tod

"completely; altogether, outright, wholly, totally, in toto, quite; all out; over head and ears; effectually, for good and all, nicely, fully, through thick and thin, head and shoulders; neck and heel, neck and crop; in all respects, in every respect; at all points, out and out, to all intents and purposes; toto coelo; utterly; clean, clean as a whistle; to the full, to the utmost, to the backbone; hollow, stark; heart and soul, root and branch, down to the ground.

to the top of one's bent, as far as possible, a outrance.

throughout; from first to last, from beginning to end, from end to end, from one end to the other, from Dan to Beersheba, from head to foot, from top to toe, from top to bottom, de fond en comble; a fond, a capite ad calcem, ab ovo usque ad mala, fore and aft; every, whit, every inch; cap-a-pie, to the end of the chapter; up to the brim, up to the ears, up to the eyes; as . . . as can be."